Horror - I'll Be Back!

Sorry, I've been away for ages - a few problems led to me to lose the love a bit.  But rest assured I have been watching a ton of horror and will bore you all with details later.

The film quizes will come back, and I'll try and do something at least once a week.

Horror - Name That Film Take 22

Back to the normal easier quiz now, after last time's whitewash - I apologise if it was just too hard, but I had to win once, didn't I?

So, for the benefit of anyone new joining the team, here's how it goes; 3 movies, you name them, you move up the leaderboard.  Simple.  At some point I'll think of a prize to give away to the top couple of horror experts, after 50 quizes, or on my 1 year blogging anniverary or something.  It's all rather vague , isn't it!

For now, enjoy the quiz, and show everyone who's got the best horror knowlege.

Easy...

Medium...

 Hard...

Good luck.

Horror - Eaters

So, the plan was to sit down and enjoy a romantic evenings viewing with my wife.  So on went Eaters...

Despite the dreaded name Uwe Boll being bandied about at the begining (I dont think he had anything to do with the actual making of this), I was really looking forward to this.

Unfortunately, after 10 minutes I could see my wife in my peripheral vision growing twitchy and bored, and so Eaters was sacrificed and instead we settled on Burke & Hare.

John Landis?  Simon Pegg and Andy Serkis?  Doing an Ealing comedy?  And about body-snatching too.  This should be fantastic I thought to myself.  It's a who's-who of British comedy and acting talent, with lamentable Scottish accents thrown in for good measure, that seems to fall short.

There are some fairly funny moments, and some cracking performances - Tim Curry and Tom Wilkinson spark off each other brilliantly - but I found the movie as a whole didn't really gel for me.  The romantic sub-plot seemed tacked on and none of it was laugh-out loud funny.

People I've spoken to, who have watched it, have said they had enjoyed it, so maybe it's just me, but I was hoping for so much more from this.

Never mind, I'll shall watch Eaters on my own today when everyone goes out.

Horror - Straw Poll

Right a serious one this time, I want your opinions.

My 8 year old son keeps asking to watch my DVDs.  You know the ones.  The ones with 18 or R on the spine, and I keep saying  "When you're older"

Now I know there's certain films, that I'll no way let him watch yet, but then again there's certain films that I'm sure I watched when I was around his age.

I first watched An American Werewolf on pirate video when I was around 10, and I remember creeping downstairs and sitting on the cold hall floor watching Salem's Lot through a crack in the door when I was 9.

Obviously, these movies terrified me, but also instilled in me a lifelong love of horror.

He has already watched some early black&white Hammers (Quatermass etc.), and a few B monster movies. but nothing scary.

The question is, how much is too  much too young?  I don't want to scar him, or give give lifelong nightmares or neurosis' that he'll never get over (I'm not a total monster).  But then again I don't want him  to come to films too late to get a passion for them - a passion that can only be gotten by watching movies early on in life.

I know he's not ready for The Thing, but maybe he is for Jaws?

No to Hostel, but maybe yes to The Monster Squad?

I know it's all subjective.  What you may let your child watch, I wouldn't and vice-versa.  But I'm hoping to get a few replies here (whether you have children or not) on what you feel is appropriate viewing for an 8 year old - and don't say 'I'd let him watch A Serbian Film', I want serious answers.

I'm not asking for parenting advice, just interested in people's opiinions.

Bear in mind, this is the boy who's pestering me for this to put on a leash and answer the door with on Hallowe'en!

Horror - Zombie Model

Well, it was suggested (or rather challenged) by Johnny Zombie , after my Psycho Mansion model to make a zombie apocalypse model.

So, off I duly went and started...

It is no-where near finished, I'm forever tweaking it and moving the severed limbs around,

and I still need to add more gravestones and several trees, and maybe a farmhouse with people barricaded inside,

but it's on it's way.  My little boy had great fun choosing which zombie should have an arm or leg chewed off, or where an arm should be clawing out of the ground.

So, message me when you've made yours (that means you too Johnny - found your camera yet?), that's right I want to see your models/dioramas/hallowe'en props whatever, and I'll come over and take a look.

Next one for us is this little beauty....

Horror - Name That Film Take 21

Well, thanks to certain people being to darn good at this quiz business, I have brought this edition ahead one week, for another Extra Hard Name That Film.

Don't worry if you don't know them (my collection has some pretty obscure titles in it) just have a guess.

And if you do know them and this goes within the usual 24 hours, I may just cry.

Hard #1...

Hard #2...

Hard #3...

Good luck, you bunch of deviants.

Horror - Forklift Safety Instructions

A friend has passed on this video to me detailing the correct safety procedures for a forklift truck operator.

So what? I hear you say.  Well, this video - apart from being fairly amusing - has better gory special effects than most of the low-budget crap that is coming out these days.

So sit back, and learn how inadvertantly execute all of your work colleagues with Klaus.  The Tit.

Horror - Stake Land

Tonight, I opened a bottle and sat down to watch Stake Land.  A post-apocalyptic vampire thriller, that reminded me of a mix of Zombieland (minus the jokes), The Road and Near Dark.

In a world that has been overrun by a vampire epidemic, a rogue hunter named simply Mister, takes an orphaned boy on a road trip to New Eden - a town in Canada that is rumoured to be 'vamp free'.  On the way they meet an assortment of rag-tag characters including 'Plucky Teen Girl Who Takes No Crap',  'Am I The Only Black Guy To Survive This Shit?' and 'I May Be An Elderly Nun But I Was Once The Romantic Lead In Top Gun You Know!'  Yes, that is Kelly McGillis! 

It has a bleak atmosphere that runs throughout the film, as though the futility of carrying on surviving is simply not worth the effort.  That's a good thing.  There's no shoe-gazing moody teens that you want to slap.  There's no sexy vamps with perfect bodies.  And there certainly seems as though there's no redemption for any of the characters seeking it.  Everyone seems to know what is unspoken - that they're all screwed - but they are simply 'getting on with things'.

Which, all in all, made this movie a refreshing change from the toothless vampire flicks that seem to be the accepted norm these days.

Horror - A Couple More Trailers

Vampyr.
A successful, professional woman goes missing and reappears a week later with no memory of what has happened.  She then begins to descend into madness as she tries to unravel what has happened to her.

The teaser for this one made me wince.  A first.

It's not graphic or horrific, just remided me of a certain scene in Marathon Man...or Oldboy....or Profundo Rosso.  Anything with damage to teeth basically.

 Thanks to Horror News for this

Bait (3D)

Tsunamis? Well, they're topical.  Shark movies?  Everybody loves them!  Hold-ups gone wrong? Why not, throw that in too.

Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark

A remake of a 1973 'classic' about tiny little ghoulies that terrorize a young girl in her spooky new home.

Iron Sky

In 1945 the Nazis went to the moon.  In 2018 they came back!

Nazis in space?  Starring the bonkers, but brilliant Udo Kier?  I'm in.

And if you want to help get this movie finished, then you can invest here.

From 1 euro to E1000, you too can be a (tiny) film producer - you have to be a European citizen to invest the full amount though I think.

I haven't the cash, but I'll show them some support by telling all you guys to take a look, and maybe even pre-order the DVD.

Horror - Name That Film Take 20

Saturday, Sautrday, Saturday Is Quizwas Day!

Here, for all you horror film related quiz maniacs (all 4 or 5 of you) is the latest edition of the bi-monthly head scratch that is Name That Film.

Easy...

Medium...

And Hard...

Good luck, and good night.

Horror - Table

Not exactly horror I know, but take a look at this gorgeous coffee table inspired by the tales of the Brothers Grimm.

Now, where's that £500 I had lying around? I want one!

You can buy one here at Duffy London

Horror - Upcoming Horror

So if you're all still here and the world hasn't actually ended, here's a couple of trailers for you that some of you may have missed...

Los Infectados

Rabies (Israeli horror film)

One Way Trip (Germany does 3D Shrooms)

Grimm (NBC's new series for the Fall) Warning full of MASSIVE spoilers - Do not watch till the end if you don't want to know how the first episode ends!

Provided they don't pull any punches, and make it too kiddie-friendly a la Buffy and Angel, this looks quite good.

Behind The Walls (French ghost story)

Hypothermia (Sort of Creature From The Icy Lagoon)

The River (ABC's new spooky Amazon based series)

Inkubus (A bit of silliness from Robert Englund)

Apologies for the lack of subtitles on some of these.

Horror - Psycho Model Part 2

Well, as promised, here is the finished article now I have gotten around to buying some paints.

Complete with dirty 'weathered' walls and a mummified Mother, all it needs now is the hill it sits atop.

As you can see below, the light shines through a bit too much, so I think I'll paint the inside black, but apart from that it's not too bad.

 (The last photo is a crappy one from my phone, but I changed the light inside to a softer yellow light to make it more natural)
I've seen on Ebay a collection of tiny figures, used for model railways, so I think I'll adapt them for our next project - a diorama of  a cursed village, complete with an army of the undead.

Horror - Fright Night Trailer

OK, for all you that haven't seen it yet, here is the first trailer for the upcoming Fright Night remanke.

While it all looks well and good, where the Hell is David Tennant?

The main attraction with the first movie wasn't the nerdy lead, the dorky sidekick  Evil Ed (yes, that is McLovin!), the paint-by-numbers romantic interest or the devilishly good looking vampire.

No, it was the humorous element injected by the cowardly 'fake' vampire hunter Roddy Mcdowell.

This films saving grace, in my opinion, is David Tennants performance as Peter Vincent.  If he fails, the movie fails, if he delivers then so does the film.  So why isn't he in the trailer?

Edit: I've just spotted Tennant!  He's at 2 minutes 10 seconds.  Blink and you'll miss him.  Literally!

Oh, Christ on a Bike!  While we're watching trailers of remakes together, I've just noticed they've only gone and remade Straw Dogs!

After all, who needs Dustin Hoffman, when you've got James Marsden. FFS!

Horror - Name That Film Take 19

Three classic films for you this time.  Any self-respecting horror fan should know these in a blink of the eye.

Now there's a challenge.

Easy...

Medium...

And Hard...

As I said, three great little movies that you all will get fairly quickly I'm sure.

Good luck with your guesses!

Horror - Confessions

Tonight I'm watching Confessions.


I've read good things about this one, so I'll let you know how it went.

Horror - Hungry?

Next time you're anywhere Manchester UK, you could do worse than visit the horrific restaurant The Hellfire Club.

It's not a flattering photograph I'll admit - apart from the hearse parked out front.             

Inside though it's all dark walls with flaming torches, lead-covered menus, a bar festooned with voodoo fetishes and crucifxes, and on Fridays sexy zombie girls provide 'table service'.  Close-up magicians work the floors and downstairs is the deepest cellar in Manchester adjoining the (real) cemetary next door.
Here's a selection from the menu...

"Death is upon us, our day of reckoning is here. To celebrate our passing the cauldrons of hell have been prepared and are full to the brim with our fresh homemade soup of the dead.



Down in the belly of the Hellfire Kitchen, the chef wrestles with a cows severed torso. Triumphantly he holds up his trophy, an over-sized monster steak burger with Porto mushroom, served with chunky chips. Also available with cheese and bacon."


Next time I'm in Manchester a trip to the Hellfire might just be order.

Horror - Psychoville Returns

Thursday saw the start of series 2 of Psychoville here in the UK, from Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton.  All the usual dysfunctional, amoral characters are there, from the blind toy collector Lomax, hook-handed clown Mr Jelly, derranged nurse Joy, to the best (in my opinion) characters the serial-killer obssesed David Sowerbutts and his mother.

It's a new character that was the most interesting though, the Silent Singer,

Seen only by Shearsmith's librarian character (with an anguished plea of "Not now, Silent Singer!") he/she moves about jerkily singing into a walking stick, as you guessed, silently.

There's more than a touch of David Lynch at work here.  The (presumably) backwards filmed movements and menacing air of the Silent Singer reminded me of Bob in Twin Peaks.  Just something dangerous only glimpsed from the corner of your eye, and then it's gone.

Some of it was a little over the top, but that's not a legitimate criticism of the guys who brought the visceral humour of The League of Gentlemen to the screen, it's meant to be outlandish.

Overall, a decent start to the series.  A little bit of humour and horror to fill an otherwise bland Thursday evening.

Horror - Awards

I've just noticed that the brilliant Hollys Horrorland has awarded this blog this nice little bauble..

Thank you very much Holly, I shall try and be worthy of it.

Apparantly I am to tell you 7 things about myself and pass the award onto 15 other bloggers who I feel deserve it.

Ok, here goes.

1) I accidentally broke a boys arm once.

2) I saw my first horror film around 30 years ago when I was 7ish, and was then hooked.

3) I once met Clive Barker in a Liverpool bookstore, and had a nice little chat.

4) I am in the process of writing a correspondence work of fiction with m'collegue Mark

5) I find writing lists about myself rather difficult.

6) Daniel Kitson makes me laugh more than any other comedian.

7) How many's that?

15 blogs who I think are great?  Thats a tricky one.  In no particular order...

1) The Guano Gallery  (not horror, just random drivel, but he's a friend and he makes me laugh as he may do to you)

2) Cavalcade of Perversions  (The encouraging, tattooed Jenn)

3) UMUSTBEBORED (Jason is a fountain of horror knowlege)

4) At The Mansion of Madness  (Has already been nominated by Holly, but he's great so why not?)

5) The Girl Who Loves Horror  (She always has a go at my terrible quizzes)

6) Krell Laboratories  (Dr. Morbius - very interesting, say no more)

7) Fly Paper Dungeon (Johnny Zombie's brilliant blog that more people should see)

8) Eternity Kidz  (Imaginative and amusing)

9) Behind The Couch (James, a prince among men)

10) Totally Jinxed (Clever, saucy Geordie)

11) Knifed In Venice (All things Roeg)

12) Strange Spanners (Strange and mind expanding)

13) Stabford Deathrage (As angry as his name suggests)

14) The Zombie Hunter (Useful advice on surviving a zombie apocalypse)

15) Set Phazers to Fun (Not much there, but he's also a friend, who needs a kick up the arse to do more - go shout at him!)

Horror - Stormhouse

The military have captured a supernatural entity, and it's trying to escape...

Horror - The Woman In Black Trailer

I've read the book, then I watched the TV adaptation, finally I went to the theatre and saw the stage play.
But I don't recall any of these things happening in any of those.



Still, doesn't look too shabby at all.

Horror - Name That Film Take 18

I've been a bit slack lately (not like that!), not keeping up with the blog.  I can only apologise dear follower.
I've been catching up on plenty of movies though. 
Night of the Demons (remake) - poor.
13 Hrs - abominable.
Burke and Hare - could've been so much better.
Night of the Eagle - fantastic.
Biutiful - depressing but couldn't tear my eyes away.
I Come With The Rain - disjointed and pretentious but very watchable.
Ringu Saishusho (not a movie, but a Ring inspired TV series) - cheap.
13 Assasins - exciting and action packed (I like Miike)
There you go, 8 reviews in less than a minute.
Now, back to business.

Easy...

Medium...

And Hard...

Nice and simple, eh?  Get them right, and get your name and a link to your site on the leaderboard.

Horror - Name That Film Take 17

Here, agaiu, is the quiz you've been dreading.
Bi-monthly now, instead of weekly (I got the feeleing you were getting a little sick of it), so I'll dip you into the waters nice and easy.
Easy...

Easy...

And Quite Hard...

Good luck, I have the feeling the first 2 will be known by quite a few of you!

Horror - Psycho Model

This week I bought my little boy a new nightlight.  So what, I hear you say.  Well, this one is a bit cool.

It has a light kit which, once assembled, painted and the curtains put in, shines out the windows.

It even has a tiny Mother figure (which I am apparantly to paint in 'various shades of dead') which sits in an upstairs window.

The assembly wasn't too hard.  After an hour we had it looking like this...

Smaller than I expected, but as it's going to be a nightlight I suppose it's about right. 

 I've got to build the hill it sits on yet as well though, so its size will increase.

My son and I had a really good time making this, and - as he's never seen the film - it holds no fear for him (I'm not a complete monster, deliberately giving him nightmares of Norman Bates - I'll wait until he's 9 for that)

Now the hard part - painting it so it looks realistic....

If it doesn't turn out to be a total disaster, I'll let you all know how it looks.

Horror - Wake Wood

I finally got round to watching Wake Wood, and it didn't disapoint.
Aidan Gillen and Eva Birthistle star as a grieving couple who, after losing their daughter to a viscious dog attack, move to a remote Irish village to rebuild their lives.
Once there they stumble across a pagan ritual, in which the leader (Timothy Spall) claims he can bring back the departed for 3 days in order to say their goodbyes, but that person could only have been dead for less than a year or things would go very wrong indeed.  Patrick and Louise jump at the chance, with only one problem - their daughter had been dead longer than a year.

When thier daughter is brought back, things take a predictable and bloody turn for the worse.
The acting in this film is uniformly excellent, with The Wire's Aidan Gillen and Eva Birthistle from The Children convincing as the couple on the edge of despair.
But Timothy Spall, as always, shines as Arthur.  A man who is doing something monstrous, and yet is doing it with a good heart for the good of the community, is both caring, sympathetic and sinister.

His Irish accent slips in a couple of scenes, but that is nit-picking.
Also worth a mention are Ruth McCabe from My Left Foot and the young Ella Connolly, who both deliver solid, convincing performances.
When I heard Hammer had returned, this is what I hoped for, instead they delivered drivel like Beyond The Rave and The Resident.  But now they have delivered a film that would make Bray Studios proud.
If The Woman In Black is as successful in its adaptation, then Hammers future looks very good indeed.

Horror - Name That Film Take 16

Undeterred, I plough on in the hope that at least one of you will enjoy this bloody quiz!

Here we go again,
Easy...

Medium...

Hard...

I was having a quiet debate with myself about what order to present these.  Some of you may find the hard one ridiculously easy, whilst others may not know the correct title for the easy one.  Maybe I should've called this weeks quiz Medium, Medium and Medium?

Horror - Horror Blog Challenge

Well, I lost.

Horror - Name That Film Take 15

Yes, it's that time of the week that absolutely no-one has been looking forward to. It's the Saturday Name That Film quiz. You all know the drill by now, so here we go.
This weeks movies are all ones I have watched in the last fortnight, so if you've been spying on me, you'll get them easily.



Easy...

 Medium...

Hard...

Good luck

Horror - Rubber & Rubber Johnny

Tonight I sat through Rubber.


A film about people watching a film about a possesed car tyre.  That's right.  A possesed car tyre.
Not as stupid as it sounds, this has decent special effects, and a knowing sense of humour that rises it above the hoi poloi of low budget horror fare that comes out these days.


But the real reason I mention it is while I was looking on youTube for the trailer I stumbled across something I'd not seen in a couple of years.  Something I think you all should watch.
Shot by Chris Cunningham, who directed the excellent Aphex Twin music videos Windowlicker and Come To Daddy, this is a 6 minute nightmare come to life.  Why this man hasn't directed a feature length horror yet is a mystery to me.
If you have even a passing interest in anything scary turn the lights off, click on full screen and enjoy...

I truly believe, whether you like Aphex Twin's music or not (you can turn the sound down, the visuals speak volumes), that Chris Cunningham is a hell of a talented director who should be making movies.  If you liked that video check out the terrifying Come To Daddy here.  Be warned though, this is not Myley Cyrus or Jay-Z.

Horror - Noroi The Curse 呪い

Tonight I watched Noroi, The Curse.


Filmed hand-held style and yet not to be thought of as just another Blair Witch knock-off, this movie is effective and suspense filled. 
It follows Kobayashi (not the one from The Usual Suspects), an investigative journalist of a paranormal themed TV show, as he investigates the story behind a young psychic girl's disapearence.  Could this be linked to a ritual used to appease a demon in the 1970's?
What do you think?
This builds up the spookiness factor nicely, and although the plot meanders around quite a bit, there is still enough tension to keep you watching.
There's not many shocks, and - SPOILER ALERT - no dramatic ending where the possesed-girl-with-long-hair comes crawling towards the frozen hero, but despite not following these Japanese conventions this film is still worth a watch.
Just not if you're a crazy dog-lover, you'll see why.
Recommended, just don't let your 8 year old watch it, ahem...

Horror - Project Voting Mayhem

Someone I can't talk about has instructed me to appeal to you to vote for me here in a Dr. Vs Dr. blog challenge.  Time is almost up, then I will stop pestering you all.  You can even repost this on your own blogs if you're feeling charitable!

Horror - Name That Film Take 14

It's Saturday!  That can mean only one thing...
It's the weekly waste of time that is Name That Film.
3 screen grabs from my collection, but can you name what films they are from?  Of course you can.  You've not let me down yet!
No prizes, just see if you can be the first.
Easy...

Medium...

And Hard...

Good luck.


And I'm getting properly thrashed (and not in a good way) here.  Vote now!